Friday, January 4, 2013

My life?

I'm 27 years old.  I have a 4 year old daughter and a wonderful man.  Upon getting pregnant I never really had many issues with my weight.  It never really bothered me too much.  I was pretty active.  I wasn't one to sit at home on my butt playing on the computer or watching TV all day.  I was usually outside doing something.  After my pregnancy I realized that I had put on some extra weight.  No biggies.  I told myself that I could take care of it whenever I wanted.  I came to the conclusion that I was indeed in denial.  When I went back to work for the first time after having my daughter I worked at a dog kennel where I was over active.  I lost over 40 pounds in little over a year of working there.  I had not only lost 40 pounds but I had lost over 30 inches of body fat.  I cut out almost all my pop.  I wasn't eating fast food.  I wasn't eating sweets.  I felt good about myself.  I was down to my lowest since high school.  I was close to 130.  I loved it.  I felt great about myself.  Then my gallbladder had to come out.  Once that happened I switched jobs.  I went to a job that wasn't nearly as active as my other job was.  Back came the pop and the weight.  There were also other changes that were made, birth control was a major one.  I gained  good amount of weight on that.  But I'm back to the point where I know that I need and I want to make the changes again.  I was going to the gym for awhile but it really cut into my school time and my family time.  I tried going late, then it cut into my sleeping time.  I feel stuck.  I want to work out, but with work, school, and my daughter it makes it hard.  Not having some one to watch her so that I can go at  time that works for me is a huge set back.  I would love to have  treadmill or an elliptical but we have no room for it in the house.  I could go walking around the neighborhood but my daughter walks so slow, or if she rides her bike she gets far and then stops.  I end up having to drag everything back.  Or she just wines and makes it miserable.  I'm hoping that this summer she's better with it.  I still don't eat a lot of fast food.  I'm drinking pop but thankfully not like I was.  I feel like my only hopes of ever getting my body back is waiting until my daughter is in school.  I know that I have to make a commitment to doing this but I don't see how I can at this point.  I think that's why I've failed in the past.