What do you do when the person who you thought was a really good friend turns out to only cause problems? I know that friends are the ones you turn to when you need help..advice, a smile, a laugh or just a bad day turned into good. But, what happens when it crosses the lines of friendship into way to much drama.
What happens when it blows up and all your friendship advice or help or whatever it was now gets thrown in your face? How should you react?? When your blamed for the drama of someone else's drama, their problems that really have nothing to do with you in the first place but because you have been there, and you know what it's like your the one that gets asked for the help, or the advice? What happens when you can't even think straight anymore... the problems now cross another line...into another friendship... where in the end some one has to choose.
No matter what you do, or how to handle it, some one has to choose some one... even if you don't want it to happen. I get tired of hearing about the same thing over and over again... all the advice that went ignored... we see it through clear eyes... but then when the other person finally sees it through clear eyes... I can't see crap now. My mind is all messed up.. I can't figure it out. I can't place a finger on it and say ok this is what we need to do. I need to do this. What ever I do some one will get hurt... either now or in the future.
I either keep to my word as a friend and be there and get hurt in the end because of the fakeness and selfishness on their end that is so clear and obvious to everyone around... or I cut my ties now and hurt another person who in the end will have to choose... but in my eyes in the future they might not have to "chose" because they will wake up and see what they thought they had didn't really exist. The things they do for the attention... the walking all over everyone they do... one day it will become clear to the person who needs it the most.... what the hell do I do???
Part of me says run... but then the other part of me says stay. If I stay as a friend I risk the issue of it squeezing it's way into my life with Jason where it doesn't need to be... it's already caused enough problems in our lives.... But do I really need to be blamed for it? Why must I get the guilt trip? I was the one who was doing my duty as a friend and now it's being rubbed in my face....
It's so frustrating. How do you tell some one you can't be there because you have that feeling in your gut that you need to get out... but you have the feeling in your heart that you can't because isn't that what friends are for? You should get tired of being walked all over, used, and bragged too. But...when is enough enough? You are there...you listen over and over again...advise over and over again... talking about it over and over again... when is enough enough?
We all have different views on things... is the glass half empty or full? I see myself and the others around me being walked all over and used.... and some may look at it as we're selfish and we should be there for our friends.... hm... so confused.
I'm getting to the point where the drama is invading my mind. I feel like the world is spinning out of control and I am about to explode. I get so stressed. I get to the point where I want to shut myself off from the world... mostly just the drama but sometimes the world is apart of it. I'm just so tired of it... It makes my head spin just typing this and thinking about it. I can't think about this anymore....
