Turkey Day

Today was a good day. We went to my grandma's and had a good meal. It was my cousin's birthday also. My aunt told me today that I'm getting her crib, which is cool. If it's a girl I have plenty of clothes from my aunt and my manager. The less we have to buy at the start the better.
We finally settled with the insurance company so that's gonna put some money in my bank account. Which will be used to pay off bills and fix my credit. My other aunt is going to give me money for some new tires which I need badly. I was gonna work on my stereo system in my car but that will have to wait. Even though things are not the best, Jason and I are staying positive! We are happy and that's all that matters to us.
Today I talked with my mom for the first time in several years. She's excited that I'm pregnant. We talked about the baby and other stuff and it felt good. I used to be pretty close to her, and I think that we can re-build that relationship. One day I might have to turn to her for something and I don't want it to be because I have to, I want it to be because I can and want to. She's been trying to get me to forgive her for a long time and I'm done holding grudges. I'm willing to accept what has been and I'm ready to look at what may be. I'm not going to prevent my child from seeing her. My child didn't do anything to deserve that. It's between my mother and I. My sisters and I are working on our relationships and it's slow but it's getting better. We now talk and hug.
My family use to be so close but once my grandpa died we kinda drifted apart, but we come together when we need to. I love my family. They are the only family that I have. I'm glad that Jason is willing to participate with my family and visit with them. They talk to him like they've known him for years. I love Jason's mom. She has been nothing but kind and sweet to me. I see how much Jason cares about her and it shows in him that he was raised by a wonderful woman. That's my thought on it, and I really don't care what anyone else thinks about. It's no one else's life. It's mine and I'm happy and that's all that I care about.
Today was a good day. My grandma gave me some stuff for the house and something that was my grandpa's that he never got to finish. Hopefully Jason can work on it and finally finish. I told my grandma right after he died that I wanted it, but I didn't want it until I was ready and she gave it to me today. She gave us some cute little christmas things. She also gave us a bunch of leftovers......We have food for sure for awhile.
Anyways, that's my thoughtsy blog. I know that things are gonna get worse before they get better. I'm not stupid. I don't expect anything to be delivered to me on a silver platter. But we will work through our problems and everything will be good. So I'm gonna finish my apple pie now...

My fear?

So, almost all of my family knows that I'm pregnant. I told my grandma today and it was better than I thought. She was cool. I think she was a little excited. I can't wait till thanksgiving. I just found out today that my aunt is actually going to cook dinner and everything. Well mostly the turkey. My grandma can't cook it because she's allergic to it....So we were gonna just go out to eat, but we're cookin! I'm excited. I love thanksgiving. I get to see my sisters and my cousins which is always fun. I found out that my sister broke her foot... there is always something going on with her. I might be getting my aunts crib that was used for my cousins.. Maybe. Not sure yet. I told my family that I didn't want anything for the baby this Christmas because I'm not that far along yet and I don't want a bunch of stuff right now in case something happens.... Morning sickness....needs to go away. I hate it. But it's all good. My first appointment is December 3rd... it does kinda suck that I have to wait that long but because of the thanksgiving time and all, they're pretty booked up. Oh well!

Peanuts

So, my morning sickness isn't to bad now. I know how to control it now so it's pretty calm now. I get it in the morning and at night along with some heart burn. It doesn't bother to me much. I have how ever, become addicted to peanuts. Right now I'm eating a can of honey roasted peanuts. I eat peanut butter toast in the morning... oh yeah I'm addicted to easy mac too. It's crazy. I'm pretty sure that once this is over I'll never want easy mac or anything peanut wise. Oh well. It's fun. I'm glad that we have a house now with extra room. I'm so excited, Jason's mom's boss gave us our dinning room table and chairs. Now he is giving us a bedroom set. I guess it came from his dad who passed away. It's a really nice, real wood set. Heavy as hell too probably. I'm excited to get it. A frame and dresser and night stands and stuff. All for free. Very nice of him. He's a good guy. He's very nice, gave us a bunch of paint for the house for free too.
The thing that I like about winter is the time that we spend on the farm. Now that Jasons dirt bike is working, him and Andy are going to get Andy's motorcycle working they can start playing with the bikes and we'll have our fires and the guys do their drinking and golf stuff at night and it's a blast. Of course I won't be drinking. But it's still fun. Sitting in front of a huge fire that actually is allowed on the property and we don't have to worry about cops or anything. We have some wild times.
Thanksgiving is coming and I'm excited. It's one of my favorite times of the year. One of the few times my whole family gets together and we eat and we laugh and the kids play and we take pictures and have fun. The food is the best. Chicken and dumplings from my aunt, sweet potatoes from my grandma, green beans, and ham with cherry topping. It's so good. Then we sit around and watch tv and eat cake or something sweet. Christmas is almost the same except the girfts. It's gonna be more special this year because of Jason. He'll be attending both thanksgiving and christmas with me. Of course we'll see his mom too. I figured now that i'm expecting it's time to make up with my mom. i've pretty much forgiven her for the stuff that she has done, so it's time to move on. this is her grandchild and no matter what she has done to me in the past this child deserves to know it's grandmother on both sides of the family. It'll be all good. Oh well, all for now.

Good day

So, today we went to a place where Jason used to work. They want him back and he doesn't mind going back. We're just waiting for the final word and he can start back in a week I"m excited because he loved working there. It took them three days to get ahold of Jason. Then we ran out to Milford and visited mom. Jason worked on her car for awhile and replaced the brake pads. We talked for awhile. Gave me some great tips on morning sickness and some dos and don'ts. Pretty helpful actually. I think that I found my OB. My aunt went to him with her two kids.
She really liked him. Jason has come around alot and out of shock. Thats good, makes me feel better. I'm pretty happy.