Love for granted

I've been thinking of you lately
A little more than normal
You always cross my mind
With it, brings a tear
I remember the good old days
Just like they were yesterday
Truth is they're getting left in the dark
Harder and harder to hold on
I close my eyes and relive the past
And remember the one thing I can't forget
How I took your love for granted

It gets hard thinking back
Even harder thinking
What might have been
If you never left
You'll never be forgotten
You'll never be replaced

The little ones will never share your love
Never to receive the respect you always gave
You gave love
You gave hope
You gave life
You never asked for anything in return

You didn't ask for the cards you were dealt
But you had no choice but to play them out
They'll never know what was taken
They'll never know
That your love was taken for granted

We have pictures
And a flag in a box
Most of all we have you looking down
Wishing nothing but the best
I know your there and
When that day comes
I know you'll be by my side
For no one can fill your shoes

I know one day I'll see you again
Until then I'll always remember
How I took your love for granted.

Great Day

Today was a pretty good day. We headed to Traders World with Amber and the kids. Hung out there for awhile. Then we headed to the mall. Jason couldn't stay out to late because he had to work tonight so he left me with Amber so he could get a little bit of sleep in. We walked around the mall for awhile and then headed to Toys R Us. Amber had to get some stuff for Madi's leapster thing. We had dinner and then out of the blue Chris sends a text about having a fire so we headed over there for awhile. It was nice and warm. Amber eventually brought the van around and we piled the kids up and they all fell asleep in the van. So we were able to stay a little longer. Had fun. Talked and laughed for awhile. We didn't get in until after 12. April fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. We had fun.

I filed my taxes tonight. Most of my money is going into my car. I need new front tires and new struts. Possibly new rear brakes. Not sure yet. Something is dragging and we're not sure if it's my brakes or if it's my e brake. I should be getting my new alty on Monday and Jason gets to play with trying to get that in. It's not even charging my battery anymore so it's gone for sure. There are a few other things that my car needs and I'm so happy to finally get them. My car is about 8 years old and it's time to do a good maintenance check up on it. I should be getting a new phone also. I'm not getting anything expensive. Just a basic phone. Using one phone has kinda been working out for awhile but I miss mine, and we both just need to have our own. But that's about it. Just doing a quick update. We might be getting an suv... a friend of Jason's has one that he wants to sell him. Since he sold the truck back to Jeff, we're not really spending anything on it to buy it which works out really well. I can't wait...

Rejuvenated

I feel so good. It's been a busy past few days. Let's see where do I start...

Friday morning we headed up to meet my mom. Yay us for getting stuck in the madness on 75 because of a stupid pot hole. It was a pretty big hole, but of course they had already started working on it so it was actually bigger then the original pot hole. They had the bull dozer making it bigger. We dropped April off and then went out and had lunch. I got back basically in time for me to get ready for work and leave. Friday night we headed over to Skyline in Eastgate and met Jeff and Amber. After that we headed to Walmart and walked around. Amber and I needed to get a few things to our trip. Eventually made our way back to Jeff's and watched a family guy movie. The one where they do Star Wars. It was pretty hilarious. Made it back home a little after midnight I think.

Saturday morning I was up about 4:30. We here on the road with coffee by 5. We made it to the hotel a little after 10. check in wasn't until 2, so we adventured out. The weather was pretty good. Quite a few people too. There was a youth retreat going on so there were a bunch of younger kids walking around. We hit the funnel cake restaurant. So good. Blows Kings Island funnel cakes away. Their lemonade was the best I've ever had too. Oh my. We decided to go up to the top of the space needle. It's 407 feet in the air. I got so many awesome pics. The fog was lifting from the mountains. It was so pretty.

We pretty much walked around and took lots of pictures. We went and checked in and took a nap since we were so tired. Later that night we went swimming and watched tv and just relaxed. We were lazy and didn't care. No kids to watch, no one to pick up after, nothing. It was relaxing. The air in the mountains was so clean and it felt so good to breathe.

Sunday morning we went and had our free breakfast from the hotel. Then we headed to the mountains. We took an 11mile scenic loop through the mountains. I got a few good pictures of some deer and some babies. We saw some really cool things. We were in the mountains for several hours. We finally started to head back around 4:30 making it home around 9:30. I was so excited to come home and see my babies. Jason had already picked April up and had her in bed by the time I got home and car unloaded and said good bye to amber. So I didn't get to see her until Monday morning.

Monday was laundry and grocery day. That's about all we got done before I had to go to work. After work we headed over to Jeff's and had his kick ass chili. It was freaking awesome. Had the perfect amount of kick. It was good. We watched a war movie that pretty good. Next thing we know the movie is over and we're outside and about 4-5 police cars are outside and about 10 cops are standing outside the door. Apparently Jeff's dad had his phone in his back pocket and sat on it. He called his sister and didn't know it. She heard a bunch of noise and some lines from the movie and she freaked out because no one was answering her on the phone. So she called her neice and asked for the address freaking out. So... Mandi calls Jeff wondering whats going on and then boom the cops are outside. It's funny thinking about it, but hey we know she cares. So the police checked ID's and looked in our cars real quick. As soon as Jeff's dad came out side in his pjs have the cops turned around and started walking back to their cars. Pretty funny.

Today because the weather was nice, we headed outside to work on Jeff's atv. Worked on the brakes. April ran around for awhile and rode her atv. She played ball and just had some fun. She needed to get out and really wear herself out. Boy did she. She crashed for her nap about 1. She didn't wake up until about 4 Jason said. We finally ordered a part for my car and I can't wait until it's replaced. It's going to be so nice. I can't wait...

What else.... my body is finally feeling better. Since I've given up red meat from fast food places, and some at home I feel better. Plus, I've been eating some yogurt again. I don't eat it every day but I try to eat a few every week... I'm trying lol. Jason got this mood supplement from work and it helps. I like it. I'm more relaxed I think. I take it at night because it makes me tired. But I like what it does to me the next day. I'm finally starting to feel normal again. Most of all my headaches aren't bothering me as much anymore. That is so awesome. Usually I have several each week but lately I haven't had nearly as many. My knees aren't hurting as much either. I know that's from the weight loss. My doctor has already advised me on that much. My heartburn and acid reflux isn't as bad. I actually have to put another set of holes in my belt. The pair of 9's that I got Christmas eve I can now slip on and off with out undoing. Good feeling...

Well... I would love to continue but I'm tired. I'm ready for bed.

Argh

My child is driving me insane tonight. She's awake, and really doesn't want to go back to sleep. I've put her back in bed twice. I resorted to the Tylenol method. I know it's kicking in because she's laying in bed fussing instead of out of her bed fussing. I heard her yawn a few times, so hopefully soon she'll fall asleep again. It doesn't help that the cat is driving me insane either.

Tomorrow April goes to her grandma's house and is spending the weekend with her. Amber and I are leaving super early Saturday morning instead of Friday night. I've been getting out a little later than usual and this way I can at least get in some sleep like I should be doing now but can't. I got fresh cds made and the batteries are charging for my camera. Would love to take the mp3 player but it's really Jason's and plus he deleted a lot of music that only I listen to. I usually use my XM radio and he uses the mp3 so there's no need to have my stuff on there. Still trying to decide if I want to take my XM or not. Kinda running out of power outlets... gps plus the radar detector plus the XM.... hm. Not sure. I'm so looking forward to this trip. I just want a little break... just a little... I feel like my head is going to pop off...

Ok...enough venting... time to try to get some sleep...

Getting jittery

Well, we're waiting for the phone call.... any day this week.... I'm really hoping that we get it. We just have to wait... it's out of our hands right now...

We leave Friday for Gburg... I can't wait. I know I've said it a ton already. When we come back, I'm going to have a ton of pictures to up load lol. I just know it. Work is going to be so slow on Friday lol. I'm gonna try and bust my butt to get out on time or even early.. but I remember my manager saying something about more puppies and I can't remember when she's picking them up... Oh well. I still can't wait.

Jason finally got Jeff's atv moving... still needs some work but he has brakes now in the front lol. We had a blast out at Mandi's on Sunday. It was cool riding in the snow. Cold, but fun. It was a blast being pulled too. Even though we almost lost Amber on a turn it was a blast. I can't wait until this summer. I can't wait until we go camping. That's going to be fun.

Anyways... not much else going on.

Getting closer

It's getting closer... we find out Monday or Tuesday if we get it or not. I can't wait. If we do then Feb 1st is a big day. I hope we get it... I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Last night we picked up Jeff and headed to Cincinnati. Walked around fountain square for a few and headed into Rock Bottom Brewery. Their food is unbelievably awesome. It was so nice sitting down and having some really good food. April did a very good job eating at the table with a plate. She was even trying to figure out the spoon. She even scribbled with her crayons on her kids menu.

Less than a week until Amber and I leave for our weekend trip to Gburg. I can't wait. We've been looking forward to this trip now for a few weeks... I can't wait... We're going to have so much fun.... We need this break so bad.

Work has been crazy. We have two litters of puppies.... craziness all over the place. One litter is only 8 pups and 4 of them are in foster right now so we only 4 on site, but the other litter is 11 pups plus the mom. They came in today and the mom looks so bad. I feel so bad for her. She's been starved....Then to top it off we got in two more younger dogs. They were signed over to us by the owner. We were going to take three but the one was way too aggressive so we settled for the other two. We've done 11 adoptions so far since Christmas. That is freaking awesome.

Well that's about it. I'm gonna relax for a bit and watch a little tv before passing out. Work kicked my butt today.

My friends

Where would we be with out our friends? I think we would be in a place where there is no light. Friends are our fuel when we're running on low. They are the backbone we need when we we're feeling helpless. They are there when we need a shoulder. They're there when we need some one to vent too. They come running when you call. We have been through thick and thin, light and dark, rain and sunshine. They are there with advice when you need it, and they're a quiet listener when you need one. They hold our hands. They give us that push we need. They tell us how it is, and don't sugar coat anything. They keep us in reality. They guide us through the storm. They hold the umbrella when it's raining. Most of all, they care and they love us. This past year I have met some awesome people, and I have come closer to others. Our friendships have grown stronger.

This past year, I don't know what I would have done with out some of those friends. Even now, I am calling on my friends to help me get through the next few months, as they have the past few months. We're already looking forward to the summer and all the fun that we hope to have. Some friends will be able to join us more this year which will make it even greater. My best friend has made me learn a lot about myself and about life. She's taught me a lot about life and friendships. She's taught me about family. She is what a true best friend is. She's like my sister. She's my bestie. I would be very lost with out her. We don't have to talk every day. We don't have to hang out everyday, even though soon we will be able to hang out more. She's been through a lot, so she knows what its like. We're very alike in ways, and different in other ways. She understands me and actually took the time to get to know me unlike others. She doesn't judge others. She's a pretty freaking awesome friend.

Remember....

Remember that a child is a gift from God, the richest of all blessings. Do not attempt to mold him in the image of yourself, your father, your mother, your brother or neighbor. Each child is an individual and should be permitted to be himself.

Don't crush a child's spirit when he fails. Never compare him with others who have outshone him.

Remember that anger and hostility are natural emotions. Help your child to find socially acceptable outlets for these normal feelings or they may turn inward and erupt in the form of physical or mental illness.

Discipline your child with firmness and reason. Don't let your anger throw you off balance. If he knows you are fair you will not lose his respect or love. Always make sure the punishment fits the crime. Even the youngest child has a keen sense of justice.

Remember that each child needs two parents. Present a united front. Never join with your child against your mate. This can create in your child emotional conflicts. It can also create feelings of guilt, confusion and insecurity.

Do not hand your child everything his little heart desires. Permit him to know the trill of earning and the joy of achieving. Grant him the greatest of all satisfactions - the pleasure that comes with personal accomplishment.

Do not set yourself up as the epitome of perfection. This is a difficult role to play 24 hours a day. You will find it easier to communicate with your child if you let him know that mom and dad err, too.

Don't make threats in anger, or impossible promises when you are in a generous mood. Threaten or promise only that which you can live up to. To a child, a parent's word means everything. The child who has lost faith in his parents has difficulty believing in anything.

Do not smother your child with superficial manifestation of "love". The purest and healthiest love expresses itself in day-in, day-out training which breeds self confidence and independence.

Teach your child there is dignity in hard work, whether it is performed with callused hands that shovel coal or skilled fingers that manipulate surgical instruments. Let him know a useful life is a blessed one and a life of ease and pleasure-seeking is empty and meaningless.

Do not try to protect your child against every small blow and disappointment. Adversity strengthens character and makes us compassionate. Trouble is the great equalizer. Let him learn it.

Teach your child to love the Creator and to love all his fellow man. Don't send your child to a place of worship - take him there. Children learn from example. Telling him something is not teaching him. If you give your child a deep and abiding faith in God, it can be his strength and his light when all else fails.

If you are a single parent, surround yourself by loving and supportive friends, role models for your child. It takes a whole community to raise a child.

Do's and Don'ts.

Don't undermine your worth by comparing
yourself with others,

It is because we are different that each
of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people
deem important,

Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest
to your heart

Cling to that as you would your life, for without
them life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living
in the past or the future.

By living your life one day at a time, you live all the
days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give

Nothing is really over … until the moment
you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less
than perfect,

It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks,

It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's
impossible to find.

The quickest way to receive love is to give love.

The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tightly,

And the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't dismiss your Dreams. To be without
dreams is to be without hope.

To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget
where you've been,

But also know where you're going.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored
every step of the way.

24 Interludes of Life

24 Interludes of Life

1. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile.

2. There are moments in life when you really miss someone that you want to pick them up from your dreams and hug them. Hope you dream of that someone.

3. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want in life.

4. May you have...Enough happiness to make you sweet
Enough trials to make you strong
Enough sorrow to keep you human
Enough hope to make you happy
And enough money to keep you comfortable.

5. When one door of happiness closes, another opens. But we often took so long at the closed door, that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

6. The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch, swing with, never saying a word and then walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had.

7. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

8. Always put yourself in other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably does hurt the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle a strife;
A cruel word may wreck a life
A timely word may level stress
A lovely word may heal and bless.

10. The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them with our own image, otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

11. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along the way.

12. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we should know how to be grateful for that gift.

13. It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

14. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

15. Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, the romance and find out you still care for that person.

16. A sad thing about life is that when you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.

17. Love starts with a smile, develops with a kiss and ends with a tear.

18. Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, need to love those who still love, even though they've been hurt before.

19. It hurts to love someone, and not to be loved in return but what is most painful is to love someone and never finds the courage to let the person know how you feel.

20. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

21. Never say goodbye when you still want to try;
Never give up when you still feel you can take it;
Never say you don't love that person anymore when you can't let go.

22. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. Don't expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their hearts but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

23. There are things you love to hear but you would never hear it from the person whom you would like to hear it from, but don't be deaf to hear it from the person who says it with his heart.

24. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life to the fullest so that when you die, you're smiling and everyone
around you is crying.

Promise Yourself

"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can

disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to
every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel like there is
something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your
optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best,
and expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on the
greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give
every living person you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too
strong for fear, and to happy to permit the
presence of trouble."

The Optimist Creed
From The Optimist International

10 more days....

10 more days until Amber and I leave for our trip. I can't wait. It's going to be fun. I just hope that the weather doesn't get bad the night we go to leave. That would suck so bad. Let's hope that all goes well. We deserve this dang it. We get our weekend, Jason gets a weekend to himself and April gets the weekend with grandma. It all works out.

So far I'm keeping to my new years resolutions. Been pretty easy surprisingly. The next few months though might make it a little tough, but in a way might help out a lot. I look forward to the next few months. Amber and I have worked out a plan.. more for ourselves. It's a new look on things, life, relationships and other good stuff. Mostly mental stuff, but it's something that needs to be done. I guess in way you could call it finding ourselves... while having some fun along the way lol. People can change... we just have to take it one step at a time.

April is doing great in her new bed. I'm glad that we went ahead and decided to get it. She sleeps through the night in it. She's taking naps in it to, unless we put her down when she's not tired enough. If she's not ready then she gets out and starts playing. Mostly though she sleeps in her bed. I'm very proud of my little girl. She's so funny with the snow. We took her out today and she was playing with the snow that was on my car. She looks so cute in her little snow boots. I had fun driving in it last night. Did okay until I went to turn onto another street and I kinda slid a little but nothing bad. Work has been fun with the snow. The dogs love it. It's cool to watch the work dogs wonder out on the frozen pond.

Well it's time for me to hit the sack. Even though I'm off tomorrow I wanna try and get a good nights sleep.

A new year means a new start

I am finally back to myself. Took me a few days to get back, but I feel better. So far April hasn't shown signs of getting sick.


Not a whole lot going on. I spent new years eve resting and watching tv. April went to bed early that night and Jason had to work and I didn't feel like to going to Amber's so I relaxed. I've made some personal resolutions and so far I'm keeping them this year. It's only two days into the year but I'm doing good.


Today was busy. This morning we went and picked up April's new toddler bed. The crib came down today. The crib had been transformed over to a toddler bed back before Thanksgiving but it's still big and bulky so we went ahead and got the new smaller real toddler bed today. Plus it matches her new dresser. The crib was older and we wanted something new for her that is hers. She didn't get to really take a nap in it today because we had to leave when Amber got here, but so far she's been in bed for almost three hours and no problems so far. Another reason why we wanted to go ahead and get it was so that when February comes along we're already prepared and we don't need to get it last minute or anything. Everything on the list that we need is pretty much crossed off now. A few more things are needed but we're waiting on them.


Amber and I went to the mall today. She treated us to lunch. She was able to meet my friend Michelle. We did some walking and then headed to Indiana. Well, Hamilton area and then out to Indiana. It was fun. I got to finally meet her mom and step dad. I got to meet Madi's dad. I so see where she gets her looks from. So cute. Overall it was a fun day. It was great getting out and having a girls day. We're hoping to do it more often.


Starting to get more and more excited about our trip. I can't wait. We're going to have so much fun. This trip is part of our personal resolutions. Changes are coming, slowly for some which I think is better than too fast. Re learning independence can be hard for some. But it's something that needs to happen and I wish them nothing but luck.


Like I said, not a whole lot else going on. I'm freaking exhausted so I'm going to bed early tonight.